Some catalogues are in the mailI get them daily without fail The trends have changed down through the years The “good old days” brought only Sears Now Land’s End, Wireless, LL Bean And Neiman-Marcus in between All see value in my name And every one misspells the same I ordered some electric socks To take me out to my mailbox To get my daily catalogue Arriving through sleet, snow or fog A brass coat rack I found in one And a “Christmas Story” B.B. gun A collar stay that’s made of gold And monogramed will surely hold But that last item puzzles me It’s monogramed, but who will see? A collar stay made with such care Is built for viewing, not for wear Someone surely thinks I’m rich I still get Abercrombie-Fitch Though far away, it shan’t be missed For I’m still on the mailing list Merchants need not be distraught For I appreciate the thought And though I chuckle by the hour I do enjoy my Eddie Bauer Faux vintage signs or fountain pens A marble chessboard always wins Your kitty’s face on your door mat “Beware of our fierce attack cat!” With catalogues, one does one’s best To make sure everyone’s impressed You needn’t use them, though you might Just make sure they are in plain sight Sometimes, that alone will do Your neighbors will think much of you Unless, of course (and God forbid) They got the same ones that you did What to give that wealthy friend? The catalogue – that’s all you send Every day, he’ll think of you Those catalogues will force him to!
Text copyright 1977, 2012 by Les Kerr Learn More about Les at www.leskerr.com